It has been decided that the 14 month old’s new name is…Danger Baby. We have to make her a red, white, and blue jumpsuit before she attempts to jump any gorges. Right now, she’s content with simply trying to kill herself via leaps off the couch and standing upright on wobbly chairs.

As Danger Baby attempts to maim herself, I will do my best to chronicle her exploits in a fashion worthy of my decades of comic book reading.

TALES OF DANGER BABY: Chapter CDLXXXVII… picture a father, one man, alone. Picture this father who has just changed a diaper, a man who has washed his hands and is now grabbing clothes to place on his child. Picture this father returning to the room where he left the baby a mere 27 seconds prior only to find… NAKED BABY waving her diaper in the air like Wonder Woman’s golden lariat before initiating a 5 minute chase all over the house. Danger Baby strikes again.